When The Summer Holidays Are Just A Guilt-Fest

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I’m writing this in our lounge, laptop on my knee. Number one child is playing with her ‘little life pets’ whilst number two child is binge-watching CBeebies. It’s only a matter of time before one of them needs my attention. Hopefully, I’ll get 20 minutes or so to finish this blog! So far today, I’ve answered emails, taken two phone calls from clients, sent a proposal to a potential client and ensured that everyone whose social media accounts I manage, has had content go out.

I no longer do video calls when the kids are around. I did, but after the occasion when one kid accidentally turned off the TV and all hell broke loose, followed by the time when my youngest could be heard shouting ” mummy, wipe my bum” from the bathroom, I ditched that plan.

I can’t afford to pay for full-time childcare over the holidays for both children, so I’m managing with a combination of favours, late nights and just winging it. It’s not fun. I try and give the kids a few hours each day of undivided attention. No work, out of the house, 100% mummy but I’m struggling. I miss calls, respond late to emails and it all just makes me feel crap.

Being self-employed gives me so much freedom and most of the time, I love it. But currently, I wish I was out of the house each day. Earning a defined salary, having that comfort.  I wish that there was cheaper childcare available. A flexible workspace with a pay-as-you-go creche would be amazeballs! I wish I didn’t have this constant guilt hanging over me.

I re-launched my business in June and it’s been fab. This is my first real challenge. I’m not writing this to gain sympathy. I know so many people in this situation. I know there are people struggling more than I am. I just wanted to say that if you’re in the same pickle as I am, I hear you.